An Open Letter to selected islands...
You earned a quick laugh for yourself. An EC$50.00 charge to leave your country is a clever way to earn a buck. You know that everyone wants to leave at all times, so the best way to make money is to charge people for their most coveted option. Brilliant - I shall endeavor to charge my patients in the same way: cheap visits and consultations; cheap lab tests and x-rays; but when it comes to the cure, milk it for all it's worth!
But that's not all. You worked your magic on the airlines, too. As I waited in the airport for my final flight from the island, it became to clear to me that I would not be free of your grasp anytime soon. Oh no, you cleverly arranged for a late arrival and departure from your humble airport.
I tried to leave my worries behind, but when my Air Jamaica flight arrived to collect me, it was an hour late! Normally, on my way home, these are not problems which concern me. However, when my connection from
How I would like to love you. Your beaches appear lovely from the air. You have mountains and valleys and lush vegetation. You have golden sand, gorgeous sailboats and friendly people. You apparently also have an airport. Unfortunately, I am only familiar with the runway and taxiway of your airport. I imagine that many would ask why. Many would wonder how this applies after my first letter to
As it happens, Air
So, you successfully managed to take a flight that was already an hour late and lose more time to my rapidly decaying good mood.
So many before me have been lured by your beaches, by your carefree attitude and by your bobsled team. But, in the end, you are no better than your comrades before you. As we taxied toward to the jet way and toward freedom, it was announced:
"All flights have been held and are awaiting boarding except those to
, Chicago and LA." Atlanta
And so, it was unceremoniously that I learned there would be no
And even when I arrived at the airport the next day, you did your best to keep me there. Keeping my plane on the ground, while we sat in our seats, for an extra hour, we waited for some ubiquitous "customs paperwork" that was apparently missing. Of course it was missing - everything is always missing; everything is always delayed (except, clearly, on the previous day, when the flight obviously had to leave on time); everything runs on "
But, when I stepped off that plane and froze my fingers and toes off, I had the last laugh. I was in America - the land of milk on the grocery stores; the land of choices in cereal; the land of clocks and schedules; the land of driving on the right-side of the road; the land of dollar bills; the land of couches and real ESPN.
So, you see
Patrick Meloy, Unlicensed Medical Professional.